But only with the moon
by ddeiSmile
Summary: It was different now, in so many levels, mostly because she cared so much for Chat Noir that it was almost a sinful and sweet pain exploding in her heart and through every vertebra in her body.
1. Chapter 1

_read me_?, please go to the notes at the end of the chapter before reading.

* * *

 **but only with the moon**

—ddeiSmile—

i/iv

* * *

Paris was devastated, a blur of what it was yesterday: the streets, the lamps, the fire in the horizon—and yet it was so vivid, so beautiful under the moonlight. It was safe now, of course, that's why Ladybug was (probably) with her family, under the loving warmth of a home with people that would take care of her. Even though everything seemed shattered, he knew as well as she did that the Parisians were stronger than all this destruction. He could see it now from the top of his old school: people in the streets helping each other, fixing all that the lucky charm couldn't due to its proprietress weakness and the fact that had spent every ounce of magic saving his life. Adrien could see everything from where he standed: the courage, the love, the friendship, a city that was rising from the ashes while he waited for some signal, really, anything. He just couldn't be home anymore.

In the end he felt –he _knew_ – that the final battle against Hawk Moth had took even more from him than from Ladybug or Paris itself. It had taken his own father. The thought made him tremble and with the movement all the wounds in his body felt with more strength than the pain in his chest. He couldn't take his own weight anymore and so he fell over his knees. He needed help, but no one could lend it to him; when Ladybug had offered it, he had to say no: this was his secret, for the first time he wanted to keep it like this, 'cause how could he face her ever again after she saw that Hawk Moth was Adrien Agreste's father? His own father. Gabriel Agreste had hoped and he couldn't even blame or hate him for it. How?, he once had also wished to bring his mother back at any costs.

In the new position he saw a faint light coming from the bakery that belonged to the Dupain-Cheng's family. He needed this, he needed to be selfish. He realised he had come in hopes of the memories of his friends (of _something_ that could occupy his mind...), his old school, when everything was right and being Chat Noir meant only the promise of freedom in exchange of helping people: all he ever wanted. Now he wanted more and for the first time he was going to take it. He wasn't really thinking on it, it was what it was from a mind that was losing an inside battle. The cold air, still dirty from the ashes of buildings destroyed hit his face when he jumped from the school ceiling. He was reckless, like always, as if the years hadn't teached him something better, but he just thought it was enough with taking his mind off of his wounds, like that would cure him, as well as watching Marinette would bring him the memories he needed, but when he landed in Marinette's balcony, his legs couldn't support themselves and once again he fell over his knees, followed by his whole torso. Not long after, the smell of vanilla came to his nose, senses sharpened by the transformation. He realized the most ridiculous thought: he was hungry and the fact that he could actually think in something else was enough courage to obligate himself and turn upwards to be received by the bright moon. Marinette was there, he could feel her, she was probably trying to recognize what had hit her roof and this was the best way he had to make it easier for the both of them.

Not long after her voice came from above. "Can you stand?," she asked, caressing his hair. He suppressed a purr. It took him by surprised: the gesture, the question, and it must have showed all over his face 'cause she said: "you're too much of a fat cat…" and smiled.

It wasn't the answer he was looking for, but since she didn't ask what was he doing there, he thought it was only polite to do the same. He nodded as all answer and with her help came down to her bedroom.

Adrien had been once there, when they still saw each other due to school. (Adrien, the one who was inside of him, the part that wanted to disappear, that Plagg was hiding beneath the mask). He still could remember the pink walls, cute details everywhere, very likely of a fourteen years old teenage girl. Now that both of them were on their twentieth, the things had changed a little: walls covered with sketches, designs that she now sold through internet –he himself had bought a few things without letting her know (Adrien, _not him_ )–, rising as a big internet fashion designer, and much other things that combined with it. She had changed too, he noted while she made him sit on the floor, in the middle of her room, while she searched for the lights: the hair coming from her pigtails was longer, she had larger hips, longer legs, a delicious aroma to it—the body of a woman. _Bad kitty_ , he thought without caring too much, he was a man afterall. When she turned to him, now bathed by the light bulb and not his nightvision, his smile faded, noticing only then all her wounds. She wasn't much better than him.

She took the first aid box from her desk, which presumably had used on herself, and sat beside him. He then dared to ask.

"Are you alright?," she looked at him with something in her eyes that told him he had made the wrong question.

"I think that must be my line," he shrugged and stopped her hand when she tried to pass an alcohol wipe over his cheek. She let go of a sigh. "We all had to do something. I tried to help but I'm a mess, so I ended up tripping."

It didn't look like she had just _tripped_ , but he was not going to pry from her anything more, at least not in that moment. So, when she went on again with the alcohol wipe, he let her do in silence, wincing now and then.

"You have... more… right?," she darted her eyes, a light blush appearing on her cheeks. He found that completely amusing, being the situation it was.

"More what, little Lady? You'll have to be more detailed," she looked like she wanted to kick him. He only smiled at her.

"What I'm asking is- if you can take that suit off?"

"Now, well... We're going kind of fast, aren't we?," she punched him in the ribs and the pain made him see white for a second. Immediately she regretted it, getting on her knees and over him to try to help calm the pain. That only made him laugh and complain of the new soreness that came with the action.

"You're so annoying!," she almost screamed, resisting the urge of hug him. He felt it anyway, the way she restrained in that second she hovered on his back. It made him turn to her, straightening with a hand over his chest, forgetting about the ache. Her blush came back as fast as his heart warmed with the feeling that maybe she truly cared. "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay. I'm a knight at your service, my Purrincess. There's nothing that can harm me," he wiggled his eyebrows.

He took the bell at the top of his suit and drag it downward until his broad chest was exposed. Marinette shifted and started to struggle with the first aid box, trying to cover her awkwardness. He would have payed attention to it, laugh a little bit about it 'cause he still remembered this behavior with Adrien: her inability to speak and how clumsy she had been sometimes; but the pain that shot through all his bones was enough to make him concentrate in a way to undress himself without starting to cry in front of her. The noise that came out of him at the moment was all it took for Marinette to be drawn again to him.

"Wait," she spoke soft, arms reaching in front as she settled behind his back, making him stay still while she took it off.

He breathed again when the pressure of the leather against his bruises disappeared completely, but for Marinette, the view was simply horrendous. He knew it was bad. When the battle had begun, he had taken a few attacks aimed for Ladybug, it was his best shot of doing something since Hawk Moth concentrated only on her (both male conscious that the only one capable of saving Paris was her), it was his way of helping and winning time for her to end the nightmare. The game had played on and on, having him spinning and falling and hitting the ground until the truth was revealed. He was lost for a moment, but somehow the weight of _knowing_ just brought to him the idea that it didn't mattered if he was gone and then it gave him the strength to give his life so that she could finish Hawk Moth.

Marinette's hand pressed against his skin, bringing him back from the memory that had happened almost few hours ago. Once again she was saving him from himself. Her hands felt small, soft and warm against his skin, making everything a little bit better. She patched him up with such delicacy that he almost forgot the pain, too caught up in the way she was caressing him, like he was something precious, worth taking care of. In a fit of courage he faced her, smiling when the blush returned to her cheeks. The excuse was a low cut in his stomach and more bruises in his chest. She decided it was best not looking at his big green eyes, so shiny and puckish.

" _Chat_ got your tongue?," he asked, rising an eyebrow. She snorted, averting her eyes when took support with a hand over his pectoral.

"Chat can't even stand on his own."

"Meow-uch."

She smiled again and he couldn't find in himself a reason as to why was he liking it so much. The silence was over them again, a comfortable silence that somehow made everything okay.

It was in that moment, without finishing her duty even though they both knew it was done, that she dared to ask, "do you want to stay?" His eyes searched for hers with surprise actually, her expression not wavering once.

It wasn't just the fact that he couldn't move properly, or that the place that was waiting for him was too empty, too painful to return to. It was those blue eyes that covered him up like the ocean and made him feel secure, safe from himself, like he belonged there, with her. He needed this, he wanted to be selfish, he had the right.

"Yes."

She noded once, as if that was enough, _and it really was_. She turned off the light bulb, then went for the little lamp that he had seen before coming in and finally got herself under the covers with a sleeping mask between her fingers.

"I won't see," she said, while she put the mask on, "you can rest assure."

The silence filled all the corners of the bedroom while he waited, as if all this was coming to an end very soon. But it never did: it was real. He then let go of his breath and with eyes closed transformed back to the person he didn't wanted to be, but he needed to give Plagg a rest. The little kwami floated in front of his face without a word, not only to avoid making Marinette conscious of his present, but because he understood what Adrien was going through and it was not the time to complain.

"Go search downstair for a kitchen. I'll repay her everything you eat, but don't make noises," he whispered.

Once alone, he took off his shoes and the shirt, becoming in a state kind of similar to how Chat Noir was before. He wanted to be him again, he felt this stinging in his fingers, but she was there, waiting for him and he somehow knew once he stayed beside her everything would be alright. Containing a breath he took a seat in the small bed, too small for him, so when he layed on his side he had to bent the knees until they were touching hers. Marinette smelled so good, so much that he couldn't fight the urge to get closer, and so he did until their fingers touched.

"Good night, Kitty."

He smiled slightly. "Good night, Purrincess."

* * *

 _nota._

Never thought I'd be here again, but I guess Chat Noir and Marinette are too much of a temptation. The thing is that english is not my first language, you'll probably notes it while reading, so if you can tell me any mistakes, I'll appreciated with all my heart. I have so many doubts with english, so, really, forgive me.

Also, I want to point out that in this ff (don't know if in the series is like this, since I have read some fanfics that say is not like this) they can be on their suits as long as they don't use the power like cataclysm or lucky charm. Hope you like it and any doubts I'll try to answer them in the next chapter. Also, it was inspired by this amazing drawing done by meru90 (on tumblr), I'll ask for her permission to show the link here or you can go to her tumblr and be amazed by her beautiful drawings of Adrien and Marinette and all the other couples.

Enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

_read me_?, please read the note at the end of the chapter!

* * *

 **but only with the moon**

—ddeiSmile—

ii/iv

* * *

When Master Fu met them as Ladybug and Chat Noir with the plan to end all of this, she made her parents go away to a place where they could be safe. Of course, when the news of the disaster aired in the TV they hurried, but the flights were belated and there was too many people wanting to comeback to be with their loved ones. She assured them: she was okay, the bakery was okay, it wasn't needed such a rush. Nonetheless, they would be home in a few days. But for now she had the time to heal so that they wouldn't worry for her, the bruises and her cranky bones. She was tired, so much that she didn't felt him get out of the bed and out of her room in the morning. If it hadn't been for Tikki, she might had go on sleeping until noon.

It was then, while she made breakfast, that the news came through the television: Adrien Agreste was missing. What could have happened?, did his father do something to him? When everything ended up, she was too tired and wounded, too shaken by the image of Chat Noir bleeding to death in her arms, to go looking for him to make sure he was safe.

Coming to a stop, she thought to herself that too many years had gone since the last time Adrien caught her attention like this—seven years to be precise. He was her first love and for a long time it stayed like that, but after the graduation they drifted apart, Alya being the connection to Nino who was the only connection to Adrien. Despite Alya's attempts, when she and Nino started to date formally, going out as a group of friends was less the option and just like that her opportunities to see Adrien went from little to nothing, and actually, her new responsibilities had influenced a lot in the fact that she grew up from that love: her design studies, her new work and her life as Ladybug, it all had taken her mind away from that little girl who couldn't keep her eyes away from this sweet and handsome boy.

Tikki searched for her in the table and she just smiled away her worried eyes. "It's okay, Tikki. Let's hurry up and finish, we must go and find him."

There was nothing else to be added.

Adrien let the water draw the lines in his back, tensed muscles going down with the feeling of warm water. He closed his eyes, the image of his father embedding a blade through his stomach while he did the same coming through his eyelids like a light struck that took his breath away. He crouched over himself, leaving his palms against the cold wall as the only support. And then… warmth. Marinette. Her lips, her fingers entwining with his, her breath ghosting underneath his own lips, her knees and round edges moving to rest against his body. He would have loved to see her expression under the sunlight, knowing she had gotten tangled with him all by herself .

"Adrien," called Plagg, "we should go, someone's here."

He shut the shower and dried himself barely before calling for his transformation. He would come back later, grab some clothes and more Cramemberg cheese for Plagg, but for now there wasn't enough time. He went out of the window and stayed there a little bit, listening carefully for any movements inside. The door opened, it was Natalie, of course, he could smell her perfume. (And actually no one else would come to his bedroom). Her presence was a reminder of where was his father at that very moment, who had put him there and the reason behind it. Those three facts were enough to make him jump off to the next building, needing only his freedom as Chat Noir, far away from Adrien and all that was wrong in his life.

He started running and jumping roofs, searching for the best way he had to take off his mind: doing rounds, finding people who needed his help. Even without the akumas, Parisians needed more than ever Ladybug and Chat Noir's support; even if his Lady wasn't there, he could be of some use. A pain on his hip made him stop for a moment, reminding him that the reason behind Ladybug's absence was because she was resting and that he should be doing the same thing.

"I might be getting older…" He groaned, eyes closed, hands on his sides, taking his time to regain the breath.

"That, or you're just getting fat," the voice didn't startle him, he knew she was coming. Yes, he was older and also better at his doings.

He smiled at her, that little stain of love still present in his chest, but now so far away. He wasn't a kid anymore, he had learned that she didn't reciprocated his feelings, that she didn't even wanted to know who he was and so he learned to go ahead and bury everything away. With time, the fact that they both matured did so much good to their partnership that in the end he was glad for the decision he had made.

"I'm sorry, my lady, you must be referring to my amazing muscles," he flexed his right arm, making Ladybug –Marinette– feel something in the dip of her stomach. Ridiculous, really, since this was not the first time he did something so silly.

And yet…

"I can't see none, but if I do, I'll be sure to call," he made a face. "Chat, we need to talk."

His lungs filled up with air, a slow gasp. The air was cleaner this time, but he wasn't, as he was not ready for this talk.

"Do we?, 'cause I'm kind of in a hurry and-"

"Yes, we do," she interrupted, facing him with a frown. "What you did back there was reckless, it was irresponsible," her tone got up, until her gaze fell to the ground "it was terrifying…"

He took both of her shoulders and made sure that she was facing him again. "I'm okay. We're partners, I knew you would save me, but above all we needed all this to end and even if I would have fallen pursuing that wish, it would have still been worth it."

She wanted to tell him so many things, but she couldn't, 'cause in the end he was right, so much that it hurted. When did he became like this?, so centrated in what he wanted, so capable.

"Don't repeat it. We saw that the miraculous not always works at its best. Don't risk it."

"It won't be necessary," he let her go, "it is all over now, Bugaboo."

Yes. Almost.

"Adrien Agreste… I was about to call you. He is missing, he is-"

"Hawk Moth's son, yes," he said, straightening. "I know where he is. He just needs time, my lady"

She opened her mouth. "What? How?, when?, how did you meet?," she felt her old self again somehow combined with the preoccupation that struck her whenever someone was in danger.

"I saw him. I helped him get away."

Her lips opened, 'was he okay?' she wanted to ask, but for obvious reasons it was a question that she didn't want to voice out in front of him. She knew that by the look in Chat's eyes, something more deep was happening between Adrien and him. In another time she would have done something, said something, carried away by a love with no future, but now things had changed. More than ever her trust in him and the importance that she should have given him a long time ago, made her restrain from Adrien and Chat Noirs's business.

"Okay," she said after a while with a breath of relief. "Then I think I still need some rest. You should go too, Chat. Please, rest…"

"I will, my lady." Two fingers went to his forehead as a goodbye, a grin on his lips that didn't catch his eyes.

Chat Noir saw the red suit disappear in the blue sky, her words still fresh in his mind. She was right, he needed to rest and he was close to Marinette's house, but he still had this urge to help people. He felt –he knew– that this was his fault. Crouching, his gaze fell on the horizon from the borderline of the roof where he stood, and there he started searching for that signal, that one thing that would take him to the right place.

While she flew away, she hoped and really hoped that he would come back to her as Marinette. She wasn't sure for the reason why it had happened before, they actually had met only a few times (twice when she was fourteen and just once a couple of years later), but at the end, it didn't mattered to her. The red light washed over her body, leaving Marinette in the middle of her room. She actually had been asking to the skies with such a strong need to see him, to know that he was okay, that it wasn't really a surprise it had happened. That's why she asked him to stay: she needed him and maybe, he needed her just as much. So, she waited for him.

Somehow she ended up doing it, her mind filled with images of him. The sun was now hiding and her mind still seemed so into the sketch (one had turned to two, and two to three) that she couldn't stop drawing those little details she had seen in him so many times.

"They are beautiful, Marinette," said Tikki, hovering above the two drawings ready.

"Thank you, Tikki," she smiled, barely closing her eyes before returning to the curve of his neck over the sheet.

A few seconds later, she suddenly felt her kwami fly away, but her mind couldn't comprehend or really pay attention to the act. It wasn't until she felt a breath ghosting in her cheek that she realised someone was there. Jumping from the chair in her desk, she turned, taking some scissors as a method of self defense. He looked at her with an entertained expression. It made her blush and stupidly hide the scissors behind her back.

"You just scared the hell out of me."

He laughed lightly and the sound felt recomforting. "I'm sorry, Purrincess, but fear not, your cat in shining armor –or leather, even better for the view– is here," theatrically he pressed a hand to his chest while the right knee touched the floor. But the act didn't take long, or at least he didn't gave her the time to answer before he was up and so close to her that a tremble spiked her spine. "And I must say these are really good, Purrincess. Of course, the model is quite nice himself, don't you think?"

She felt the urge to stab him with the scissors. "Ugh, shut up,"

Pushing him away with her body, she turned to the desk, trying to get the other drawings away. He was just making the fact that she spent the whole day sketching him even worst. But then he was there, right there against her back, and that need of love that had carried him now and before –he didn't had a name for it yet, but perhaps caring was close enough– jumped in his chest with a force that was too much. If she wanted him out, she would need only one word, but right now he had nothing to lose, so he just grabbed her thin waist and held her there, close to his chest and beating heart.

Marinette's breath got caught in her throat. She didn't expect this—his presence?, yes; his stupid grins and puns?, yes; but this heath, the pressure of his arms engulfing her shoulders and his nose sniffing his way through her hair and her neck…, well it was too much.

"Chat Noir?," she asked, voice trembling with something that wasn't fear.

"Just… a little more."

Yes, that was it, a little more. He wanted a little more from her, from this that she was giving him even if she didn't realised it. He wasn't sure of anything that could go wrong or right, this was just him: Chat Noir wanting and taking what he wanted, what he needed. She stood still, so perfectly composed even if her mind was blowing.

A few minutes passed by, he still pressed with such a strong grip against her and then suddenly he just let go. It was so out of nowhere that she almost breathed out a complaint. The time was vicious with them (life was being a mess) and just somehow she felt too this urge to grab him, comfort the distress she could see and feel within him.

"Do you want to eat?," her tone sounded more like a beg and maybe she was: because the moon wasn't up just yet and maybe it was only then that he could stay with her, so she needed an excuse to keep him. Just a little more.

"Actually that would be pawsitively purrfect."

Through the corner of her eye she saw Tikki glancing a questioning look to her. She couldn't answer, she didn't know the reasons –hers or his– so she just grabbed the first aid box and stomped with him out of her room.

"Let's go, I have to treat again your wounds before they make you say more stupid puns like those."

"Meow-ouch. I think you will have to cure those you have made in my heart too, Purrincess."

* * *

 _nota._

Thank you so much for the review I received. It gave me the strength to read the chapters over and over again so that I could correct anything that I found it was wrong. I know it won't be a big difference, like I said I have many doubts with english, but well. The review isn't showing, so I can't put the name here, but really, thank you very much.

If someone here prefers AO3, **please do check this ff there** , because I just can't feel so comfortable here, so I'll probably be posting more fics of them in that account and not this one. So, that's it. Thanks for reading.


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